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Does having a joint account kill the romance?

2010 July 20

I’m often asked my advice on whether couples should get a joint account when they get start to get serious, i.e. engaged or move in together. Pretty much every book or article you read about love and money tells you to keep them separate, but I have a joint account, and it works for us.  I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around how to figure out who pays what, and it’s what my parents had, so I don’t know any other system.

But during a recent RoA team meeting, Daddy-to-be blogger, Adam mentioned how him and Danielle have separate accounts.  He said he likes it because it gives him a chance to still be romantic and pick up the tab.

Uh, that’s right!  With joint accounts, I’m never treated to dinner anymore.  Even when my husband buys me gifts, it feels different since I know that really I just bought my own present. I had never thought about how the seemingly simple act of combing finances can chip away at the romance.

On the flip side, with our finances combined I feel that we are working together toward a common goal.  It also makes me more accountable in my spending knowing that I’m impacting his financial future, too, with my compulsive spending.

So, I think for now I’m going to keep our accounts together and look for other non-monetary ways to spice things up!

Do you and your partner have joint or separate accounts?

Why did you choose that system?

If you have separate accounts, how do you make it work for you and your partner?

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11 Responses leave one →
  1. July 20, 2010

    Twitter Comment

    ROA Does having a joint account kill the romance?:

    I’m often asked my advice on whether couples … [link to post] via @ATX4U

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  2. Anon permalink
    July 20, 2010

    You’re almost there! How to keep the romance? He still picks up the tab! We have a joint account that encompasses total joint bills. Then a sliding scale of
    What we make is made into a percentage so we pay relative to the difference of our salaries. Anything left over is put into our personal accounts.
    We find that we have more romance because no one has
    To ask permission to get a haircut or nice face cream.

    • Rachel Naugle permalink
      July 21, 2010

      I love your line about having to ask for permission to buy stuff! We go through that some time. It’s helped that we’re finally on the same page with our finances even though we do have joint accounts.

  3. July 20, 2010

    We have a joint account. It can be difficult, but I think otherwise you have to do what Anon posted above, which is incredibly fair, but far more math than your average person wants to do every paycheck.

    My wife doesn’t currently get paid for her job (she stays at home with the kids), so figuring out how to deal with our money jointly was something that was really important before she wasn’t bringing in any.

    It may be less romantic to not be able to buy gifts without knowing how much they cost, but fighting about money is even more unromantic.

    • Rachel Naugle permalink
      July 21, 2010

      It is a lot of math. I wish there was some sort of calculator out there to help. Wait…there probably is if I do a little searching. You can find everything on the internet, right?

  4. July 20, 2010

    I think a joint bank account keeps the passion alive! There’s nothing like a financial argument to pull back the layers for a moment.

    A joint Facebook account is the real killer of passion.

    • Rachel Naugle permalink
      July 21, 2010

      LOL on the joint Facebook!

  5. July 20, 2010

    we have separate accounts but each contribute cash monthly to a “party kitty” that we can draw on for groceries, nights on the town and dinners. it still allows us to maintain our own finances and treat each other to things but no one is left paying the bill all the time and you can reimburse yourself from the kitty when you get home.

    • Rachel Naugle permalink
      July 21, 2010

      How do you figure out how much each person contributes to the “party kitty?” Love the name, BTW!

  6. Chris Hattersley permalink
    July 20, 2010

    I think it can kill the relationship. I have gone down that road and regretted it!! Now, however, I think i have found the perfect solution! My BF and I have our own accounts, and one together. We keep our money apart, but we can both transfer into the joint for our common bills like rent, electric, dog food, ect…. I have found that takes most of the drama dealing with money out of our relationsip.

    • Rachel Naugle permalink
      July 21, 2010

      This is what most experts recommend - one for each of you and then a joint. I’m glad to hear it’s working out for you!

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