Yo! Who is your secret crush? Tell us, and we’ll be your wingmen.

At the last bleet-up, Tolly (from the lovely Austin Eavesdropper) and I started talking about our secret crushes. You know, those folks you encounter in your day-to-day life on whom you might be crushing-but are WAY to nervous to ever say “Sup?” It could be that hot waiter with the mustache at Home Slice or that beautiful chick bartender at the Mohawk with the lotus koi pond tattoo sleeve. Hell, if you’re like me, you probably go home and find them on Facebook (or scroll through everyone with their name). But no matter HOW MUCH alkiehol you drink, you still can’t get the courage to ask them for their phone number.

Tolly and Chris get crazy at a recent BATHH

That’s where Tolly and I come into play as sort of virtual wingmen. You tell us your crush. We meet them and ask them all the pressing questions, like: Do you like men or women? Are you single? What’s your sign? What’s your ideal mate? How do you feel about knife play and sexual mummification? Well, maybe not all those questions, but definitely enough to help you open a conversation with your PYT.

Since Tolly is a little more open with her secret crushes than I am, she’s picking our first victim:

For me, that would definitely be James at Hancock Center H-E-B, who is only the loudest, proudest, most cheerful sample giver EVER.  I am going to post about James someday so you can all know about this man.  In fact, you already do, if you’ve ever been there on a Saturday and heard,

“MY GOO’NESS!  ISS A HOT ONE TODAY!  GOOD THANG WE GOT WATAHMELON HALF OFF!  WITH RANCH FO YO SALAD!  AND, AW NAW, WAD ELSE?  SHAKE N’ BAKE, Y’ALL!  SHAKE!  N’!  BAKE! BUY ONE GIT ONE FREE Y’ALL!”

I love James. I am, in love, with James.

Chris may have had other folks in mind to interview for Crushworthy, but sorry, James is my first choice. I can’t wait.

So unless you want to only see us interview grocery store employees, we need YOU to tell us your secret crush. You can comment on either one of our posts, on the RoA Facebook page, or email [email protected].

With your submission, please send us as MUCH of this inf as possible:

• Name
• Workplace
• Facebook link
• Phone number
• Description
• Why you have a crush on them

We’re gonna try to do this soon. In the meantime, check out Tolly’s post on love in the time of networking.

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