Where would you hide a pond full of koi fish? Come on, Austin: APD needs YOUR help!
No doubt by now you’ve heard that 13 large koi fish were stolen from the lotus pond at the Zilker Botanical Garden earlier this month. The fish, valued at $150-$200 each, are 2-3 feet in length and each weigh between 15 and 20 pounds. This robbery is such a big deal that APD is rolling 12 deep, kicking in doors and drawing guns on 17 year-old boys.
According to the dude who’s home was searched, the cops were really thorough:
“They’re looking for koi in strange places—in the bedroom, in the closet, places that can’t hold water or fish,” he said. (via The Statesman)
As we’ve noted before, APD has a hard time finding things (like stolen ashes or the guys who were videotaped violently gaybashing a couple dudes on 4th St earlier this year). And since there are plenty of other things that 12 cops could be doing besides looking for fish, we at RoA want to serve the civic effort and help find these fish. So we’ve drafted a list of our suspect locations.
If you were a thief, where would you hide a pond of koi fish?
- In the turtle pond at UT
- Under the dance floor aquarium at Qua
- In the warm springs at Stacy pool in Travis Heights
- In the walkin refrigerator at Uchi’s new restaurant Uchiko
- In the swimming pool-sized bathtub in a taxpayer-funded, super-expensive private residency in West Austin (via Rick Perry)
- Trying to find a ride home from Aquapalooza
- On the East Side in the beer garden at hot spot Liberty
- [your answer here]
If you find the fish, contact the city IMMEDIATELY. This is a matter of utmost importance.
Is APD Police Chief Art Acedevo doing enough to protect our fish?!
Where do YOU think the thief is hiding the koi fish?
Or have they already been eaten?
Will Uchi’s Executive Chef Tyson Cole be the next to get his door kicked down?
.
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RT @KeepAustinWierd: Where would you hide a pond full of koi fish? Come on, Austin: APD needs YOUR help! [link to post]
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Near the end of December they’ll find them stuffed in envelopes in Chicago area mail boxes in front of the homes with a lamp on a table perched in front of a big picture window. Polish Christmas carps. Did you ever get one?