“Procrastinator’s Guide to the Weekend in Austin: December 12th and 13th 2009″

Not sure what to do in Austin this weekend? No need to scour the Internet.  Check out our procrastinator’s guide to the weekend happs in Austin.

We don’t have everything (Check out our buds The Peen Scene for a full list of the nightlife party events in Austin, Cool in Austin for lots of free and super cool ish, or check out our slideshow of all the Facebook Invites for this weekend). But what we do have is good.  Plus, it’s pretty much certain that someone from the RoA team is gonna be there. If you see us, say hi!

Hope you got some sleep over Thanksgiving, cause this wknd is OTC! Here are our selections of what’s good.

Ugh. The holidays. Either you’re stuck standing around at some company party getting wasted with coworkers, or you’re at a relatives house getting wasted with family. By the looks of the invites we got this week, you can also stand around and get wasted with a bunch of Santas and his Ho-ho-ho’s.

Saturday December 12th, 2009

Santa in a speedo. Hmmm, sounds disgusting.

If you’re sexy-bodied elf or fuzzy polar bears, throw on your sultriest Santa hat and a speedo and join the Austin Santa Speedo Run at the Trail of Lights Fun Run at 5.30P.  Not only do you get to freeze your nips off, but you can help raise money for Out Youth, a non-profit organization whose mission is to support and provide services to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth ages 12 to 19 in Austin and Central Texas. It’s $25 donation to run, or you can stay in the warmth of your home and just donate.

DEETS: Austin Santa Speedo Run at the Trail of Lights Fun Run (Zilker Park); 5.30P FB Event Donation Page

600 Santas Walked into a Bar…

SantaCon/Santarchy’s Santa Rampage is one of our favorite events of the year–AND IT’S GLOBAL (we’ve had the honor of Rampaging in NYC, San Fran and Berlin!). I mean, on tha realz, what’s not to love about dressing up in Santa Costume and roaming the streets on a drunken rampage singing carols?! Check out pics of last years Austin SantaCon here <—ladies, grinches and squids love it, too!

DEETS: Austin’s SantaCon/Santarchy Santa Rampage (all over the city); Starts at Mother Egan’s (715 W 6th) at 7P; If you miss them, chk updates on Twitter to find location. BRING CASH FB Event

Santa Rides a Fixie

Last week they picked the teams. This week Santa and the Skelli Crew will be doing a bike scavenger hunt around the city For Santa’s Love. Didn’t make the cut? Don’t fret. The winner will be announced at 7P at Ironworks (6th and Waller) followed by a GINORMOUS after party at Fast Forks (2513 E 6th) at 9P!

DEETS: For Santa’s Love; Fast Folks (2513 E 6th); 9P; FREE BEER FB Event

Brothers From Another Mother(ship)

Bjork AND Outkast?! WHAT?! The freaky deeky songstress from Iceland and the future loving freaks from the ATL are reunited TONIGHT at Kunckle Rumbler’s ICELANTA party! You’ve got Prince Klassen and DJ Orion on the 1′s and 2′s! And you know Knuckle Rumbler always sets it off. Oh yeah, they called to tell us they’ve got heaters AND an effin snow machine. They turnin the Scoot into one big dancin igloo!

DEETS: ICELANTA; Scoot Inn (1308 E. 4th St); 9p-2A; $3 w/ RSVP [CLOSED], $5 w/o, FREE w/ Swan Dress or Seer Sucker Suit; 21+ FB Event

Satan’s Claws Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Hmm, we always get one or two invites that can’t really be put into words because they are just too intense. For this one, we’ll let the promoter do the talking:

A very metal gathering in celebration of loud music, booze, and sexuality–all of Jesus’s favorite things! The rundown: eight bands from the Austin and Houston areas and kegs a’plenty. HOLY SANTAN CLAWS!

As the SNL Church Lady would say: “Well isn’t that special.” BTW: Chris Apollo lived in one of those Co-Ops. He says the parties can be intensely drunken debauchery. LOOK OUT!

DEETS: Christmas With the Devil; House of Commons (2610 Rio Grande); 8P-2A; FREE (?) BEER (?) FB Event

I’m Dreaming of a Crunk X-Mas

This party promises “crunked out electro madness.” San Fran’s An-Ten-Nae joins up with Barcelona resident PREPMODE tonight from 9P-3A. Those “Punk Rock Country Hop” beats are gonna set you back $7. We like what we’ve heard from PREPMODE, so we’re pretty sure he’ll stuff your stocking full right.

DEETS: AN-TEN-NAE & PREPMODE; Barcelona (209 E 6th); 9P-3A; $7 FB Event

Mr and Mrs Claus

If you’d rather warm up with the sounds of accoustic guitar instead of dancing, head over to the Mohawk to see The Dutchess and The Duke. This psychedelic folk band will warm your soul like a bittersweet cup of hot cocoa.

TRY BEFORE YOU BUY: Head over to our friends Austin Town Hall to check out a couple of free MP3 downloads from D&D.

DEETS: Austin Town Hall presents The Dutchess and The Duke; Mohawk (912 Red River); Doors 9P, show at 10P; $8;

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Come Sit On Santa’s Lap

Sunday is supposed to be in teh high 70′s, so what better way to enjoy the day than on the patio of the Belmont at Bobby Cook’s Big Gay Brunch! Enjoy $1 Mimosa’s, a jazz band and the AMAZING Belmont Breakfast Buffet. Bobby also emailed us to tell us THERE WILL BE A SNOW MACHINE! It’ll be a lot of fun for friends both gay and straight, PLUS all proceeds go to The Octopus Club, benefiting the Paul Kirby Emergency Assistance Fund for those with HIV or AIDS.

DEETS: Bobby Cook’s Big Gay Brunch; The Belmont (305 W 6th); 11A-3P; FB Event

Me I Want a Hula Hoop

Our boy Tyler over at Two Groove is hosting a kick-a fundraiser with a class-a indie lineup at Antone’s featuring Frantic Clam, STEREO IS A LIE, and SPEAK.  We been jammin out with our Frantic Clam out all Fall long and I’m not lying when I say STEREO IS A LIE is H-O-T!  Plus, your $10 bones all go to the Austin Children’s Shelter.

DEETS: Frantic Clam, STEREO IS A LIE, and SPEAK Benefit For Austin’s Children Shelter; Antone’s (213 W 5th); 4.30P-10P; $10 FB Event