After the death of beloved Esme Barrera, does Austin need a head check?
There really are few things more horrifying than watching the news and discovering a friend was the victim of a gruesome murder. The nature of most news shows is to grab your attention with some sort of sensational or emotional lede. And if it’s a horrifying murder, you’re already in a state of disbelief…but that disbelief turns into shock when the picture and name is someone you know. Like a nightmare or a movie, you don’t think it’s real. An Internet search confirms the worst. Your heart breaks.
This has been the experience that many folks in this city and I have relived over the past 24 hours after hearing the horrible news of Esme Barrera’s murder [Here's a beautiful tribute from Waterloo Records, where Esme had a part-time job]. Last night I dreamt about it, except this time two more of my friends were victims to this monster. And even though I know my friends are ok, the dreams were so real that I still can’t shake the sense of shock and loss.
When you find out a special person in your life has passed and her murderer is still on the loose, your shock turns to anger and fear. You want revenge and you want to be safe. These are both natural responses, but taken to extremes, they can be harmful and crippling. We, as a city, need a level check to make sure either one doesn’t get out of hand.
Get the word out with this flyer.
I love this flyer. It’s attention grabbing. It’s informative. It’s instructional. Everyone needs to know about these crimes so they can be cautious and prepared. It should be shared across Facebook, tumblr, twitter, and the Internet.
BUT
A Crime Sketch is not a photograph.
What this flyer does not do, however, is give a clear picture of the murderer. Yes, it includes the police sketch, but the guy looks pretty generic. It’s not a photograph, and we need to remember that.
Just for the sake of experimentation, do a quick Google image search for “bald black man” (be sure to be in Safe Search, unless you want porn). If your search was like mine, you’ll find a lot of pictures of folks who fit the description and vaguely resemble that sketch. Here are a couple of examples:
I’m not saying all black people look the same. I’m saying that it’s easy for a lot of people to look like a generic sketch. And when that generic sketch is coupled with “bald black dude in his 30s,” it can lead us to fall back on racial stereotypes. As a city still recovering from a racist past, we need to be aware when old habits start to creep back into place.
Stay vigilant–not scared.
Instead of being scared of a shadowy image of a person, channel that energy into being alert and ready in all situations. Know how to protect yourself. Carry mace. Also, practice healthy preventative measures: Stay in groups. Look after each other. Use the buddy system. Men, please walk women to their car or door. It’s not sexism, it’s being a gentleman.
I’ll probably get hate mail for this post. Please know that I want this guy to be captured. I’m horrified by Esme’s murder and the violent crimes these women suffered. Like others, I’m 100% saddened by the loss of such a beautiful person. That guy needs to go to jail. But let’s be smart about how we channel our anger and fear. When we convert those emotions into prejudice, violence and paralysis, we end up injuring ourselves.
Stay safe, y’all. And please consider donating to help Esme’s family cover the costs of the funeral.
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No hate, only love. Well-written, Chris. When I shared something about this on my page, I was hesitant because of the drawing. It does look like every bald-black dude out there.
As a person that is often out very late at night, by myself, on a bike, I like to remember to ALWAYS: Be cognizant of what is happening around me no matter what head-space I’m in, never stop somewhere dark, and make myself look “big” like what you’re supposed to do when you encounter a bobcat on a trail.
Some people in our world have big, huge, UGLY hearts and only want to inflict harm. It’s a shame that we have to worry about such things and it’s an even bigger shame that we are reminded to be vigilant after we lose such an amazing force.
Thank you for writing this and I’m sorry to you and the rest of the folks I know that knew Esme and were touched by her. It’s always nice to have another person looking out for us from beyond though. (depending on what you believe in…)
Thanks, April. *hug*
Excellent article. Esme’s death will translate into more tragedy without pause to reflect on the points you have made about hate and terror~
This is an idiotic article written by an idiot.
It is not a random sketch. It is a sketch drawn by an artist who is listening to actual descriptions from possible witnesses. It’s not a generic “black guy” as you say.
You can do the stupid Google/sketch search comparison on any person black or white.
What you are ignorant of is that these sketches do help. They do help catch criminals. You must be bringing up the race issue because you are worried about your own thoughts about people of color. You sound like the one with a problem. Why else would you write this?
And I think anyone with a couple of brain cells knows it’s not a photo. But thanks for the reminder.
Austin is dealing with it’s racist past? What? A young woman was murdered and now Austin is now a hotbed of racism and we need to be careful with a police sketch?
This was a horrible crime. Everyone who knew her is devastated.
Put down the bong and think before you write. We don’t need ignoramuses bringing race into this matter.
Hi, Jimmy. You missed the point of the article. When you come off of your meth high, please come back and read the post again.
Actually, Jimmy, you sound like the one with the problem.
The article never said the poster wouldn’t be helpful – “I love this flyer. It’s attention grabbing. It’s informative. It’s instructional.” – it just voiced some cautionary points about race and racism which are much appreciated.
More to the point, there’s a lot of people in this city who are hurt, angry and scared right now, and your venom helps nothing. NOTHING. If ever there was a time for more kindness in the world, surely it is now.
Thanks, Anonymous, for understanding. Your response was spot on.
This is an idiotic comment written by an idiot.
Thanks, SadFriend. Agree 100%.
While I definitely won’t call you an idiot, as I do think you have a good point, I have to agree that these sketches help catch people. And I know that people have recognized this person from the sketch and that he has a history of impulsive actions and violence towards women. So instead of knocking the sketch itself, knock the people who might go on a tangent, pointing fingers at every bald black man they see.
Thanks. The post didn’t actually knock the sketch. The police only had one witness, she herself a victim, so the image is what it is: broad strokes. The point of the post was not to focus on the negative; rather, it was written to remind folks of the most important thing, to look out for themselves and others, and not devolve into fear.
Great points.
It’s tough to prevent your emotions from clouding your judgement.
Can’t imagine it’s fun to be an innocent 30′s bald black guy walking around Austin right now.
We can only hope that something breaks soon.
Hi Chris,
This isn’t hate mail. You have valid points. It’s important that this doesn’t turn into a witch hunt, and that there is not racial profiling. The composite sketch is what it is, which is a vague and incomplete drawing, based on one witness.
I do want to bring attention to the fact that, regardless of common sense safety measures, bad things still happen and those things don’t happen because people don’t use the “buddy system” or carry mace, they happen because the attacker decides to hurt someone. Someone walking Esme to her door never would have seen the attacker who was inside her home. She was probably surprised, so having mace or any other protection probably wouldn’t have helped. In almost any scenario, the only way to stop Esme’s murder would be for there not to have been a murderer. It would have helped if the police had done their job that night — http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/investigations/no-report-taken-in-attack-before-murder.
I know that no one would ever consciously try to imply that Esme was at fault for what happened, but sometimes these warnings about women need to behave “right” to protect themselves do seem to me to be shifting the blame from the people who attack other people. There’s also no real indication that this attack was gender specific; I don’t have any reason to think that if a man had walked into the house he wouldn’t have been killed as well.
That’s all. Big love to everyone who is missing Esme or wishing they’d known her. Please don’t be afraid. Esme was so brave, we can be too.
I was just talking about how generic the sketch is over lunch and then I saw this post!
1. ANON: Yes, these posters help catch people…but they’re 100x more helpful and less prone to racial stereotyping if there’s something more specific (ex: mole on right cheek, scar, etc). This post has a valid point on many different levels.
2. Victims don’t always give the best descriptions. Many innocent people were convicted of crimes they did not commit due to victims picking them out from a lineup (they were later discovered to not be the actual criminal due DNA test or fingerprinting). The terrorized human mind might make an attacker that is only 2 inches taller but looming over you seem like he was a good 6 foot tall, even if he was only 5’7″.
That was my first reaction as well…”well it looks like three of the guys I work with could be guilty of assault.” My other reaction was that people have been mistakenly passing this around as a sketch of Esme’s murder suspect – WHICH IT IS NOT. This is a sketch of an assault suspect who possibly be related to Esme’s case. Police haven’t announced any connection. So for all we know, she could have been murdered by a neighbor, one of the hipsters at that bar, someone who had been watching her in the neighborhood and knew she lived alone. Until there is a documented connection, we don’t know what the face of Esme’s murderer looks like and – as you put in this article – we need to practice constant vigilance with all people. Don’t walk home alone, carry mace in your hand, talk to your neighbors, make smart choices
WELL SAID!
Thank you Chris, for a much-needed invite to look at things from various angles, a very sane and mindful thing to do. What a kickoff week for humanity and inhumanity in Austin this new year. I too, have had felt a compassion for all the upstanding or nonviolent or reformed men of color in town (esp the bald ones) who are always on the spot for being a black man in general, and esp this week.
The perpetrator who murdered the homeless woman on NYE in his apartment on 45th Street (and who maintained a steady job at a women’s health clinic, yep!), with overwhelming forensic and video footage evidence, happens to be a light-skinned man of color too. So, a re-triggering of racial typecasting is certainly something to speak about and watch out for. There are many generations of poor people of color on the east side who really don’t need more racism than what they already have and are dealing with, you know? So, thank you Chris, for focusing on that.
Rachel has raised an important point about the possibility of over-simplification of these events involving several different perpetrators, and even neighbors, is a sad and good reminder. The forensics team and senior detectives are covering all possibilities I’m sure. Just the nature of the invasion and brutal attack on Esmeralda Barrera, implies that at least one very mentally ill person is involved.
Summer Anne made an excellent point about not being in 100% control of whether bad things just happen despite our best efforts. We can all relate to that I think. I have to say, on New Year’s Eve night with lots of parties going on in the an old sweet neighborhood and tons of pedestrians about, it might have been well-travelled me that would have said to my friend ‘no big deal, I’ll just walk those two blocks now and see you in a little bit.’ I and friends have been analyzing this to the ground, knowing that we all have been in situations where we narrowly escaped encountering such a situation as Ms. Barrera had to face that night, as well as the other woman who terrifyingly survived the attacker in her home.
However, I totally disagree with Summer’s dissing of the gender-specific realm. Few females are attacked non-sexually by violent perpetrators/home invaders. And, this often has nothing to do with looks or manner of dress. There was an 81 year old lady in Elgin about five years back who had a nighttime home invasion and brutal rape, which the perpetrator tried to cover up by setting fire to the house (he was caught, he was part of work crew that had done some kind of work on her house or land). She escaped the fire, and had loved ones to support her afterwards.
We need to speak also across the taboo of a society currently saturated with a pandora’s box of a recent genre of extremely degrading hatespeech attack porn that centers on creating live footage real sexual violence and women in real pain for masturbatory purposes. Rape crisis centers, since starting to inquire, are finding a definite relationship between porn addiction & violence against women in data collected, for example.
As far as I’m concerned, the men who have harmed and murdered women this past week, and anyone who is perpetrating scenarios of harm, are humans, and they are humans who are very sick, and probably addicted to identifying with a harm-oriented sexuality. I know that when I am mindful of that, I definitely feel more lucid and fearless as well as security-savvy. If we just think of them as monsters, we are not engaging with reality and our full awareness, and more likely to succumb to things states such as fear and anxiety which can interfere with street-smarts and self-defense.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/RIP-Esme-Barrera/292291227485442#!/pages/RIP-Esme-Barrera/292291227485442?sk=wall
You mention that Austin is recovering from a racist past. Austin is currently a totally racist city. While Esme’s murder is horrific, similar incidents have taken place in other areas of the city recently and no one has been apprehended and no benefits have been held here. No social media outcry, none of that. There are certainly two Austins. Ever try to count the minorities at Spider House or Whole Foods? Does the Chronicle even have any black writers?
The Austin Cut had a cool article about how fucked up APD deployment is:
http://austincut.com/article/02052012/attacking-austin