8 Horrifying Photos of Austin’s Snow Day Snowpocalypse 2014

Last night, the Polar Vortex took its toll on Austin. Locked inside our houses, many of us were forced to bake cookies and drink Hot Toddys. We cowered away from our frost covered windows. And this morning, we awoke to see our lawns and motorways blanketed in thick layers of snow. In case I don’t make it out of this blizzard alive, I want the world to see the horrors that Central Texas has had to endure.

Many woke up to find their yards destroyed, covered in sheets of ice and snow…

austin snow day 2014 jonathanbraden

(photo by jonathanbraden on instagram)

…and their belongings decimated.

Austin Snow Day 2014 lindsaylk

(photo by lindsaylk on instagram)

Unable to find direction in the white-out, many Austinites were trapped in snow-filled forests.

austin snow day 2014 keithkreeger

(photo by keithkreeger on Instagram)

With our winter harvests frozen, how will we find food?

Austin snow day 2014 broylesa

(photo by broylesa on Instagram)

Scared and alone, animals were left to fend for themselves.

austin snow day 2014 lindsaylk 2

(photo by lindsaylk on instagram)

austin snow day 2014 joeydickson

(photo by joeydickson on instagram)

 With many braving the Arctic Tundra to find a suitable spot to pee.

austin snow day 2014 hilahcooking

(photo by hilahcooking on Instagram)

But like the wise Rhianna said, “We found love in a hopeless place.”

(photo by alopezphoto on instagram)

(photo by alopezphoto on instagram)

 

Will we survive and make it to the 70-degree temps this weekend? Send prayers.

 

 

About Chris Apollo Lynn

78704er, cyclist, part-time DJ, new media mad scientist, urban farmer, not a robot, ready for End of Days.

188 thoughts on “8 Horrifying Photos of Austin’s Snow Day Snowpocalypse 2014

  1. Weasel

    Okay. Purgatory is behind us (at least, “ARCTIC BLAST 2014! dum dum DUMMMMMM!)
    Back to the salt mines on Monday.
    *Enjoyed

    Reply
        • John Dunlap

          That’s exactly right….don’t feel sorry for us all you who live north of the Red River, while you suffer you extremely long and cold and snow bound winters of up to 7 months long. While we enjoy spring in March, swimming in creeks and lakes long before school is out all the way through our first cold fron in mid to late September. We are punished with ice that stays on the ground maybe 3-4 days. Possible snow storms in late Feb that generally melts off before dinner time. But our summers while extremely hot, over 45 days annually that average over 100*. We wouldn’t trade it for nothing. I bet less people in the south retire and move to Minne-soooo-ta then those in the nothern tundra retire and move to the ‘sunny sout’.

          Reply
      • Donald Gene Anderson

        I was in Chicago on business and it was -40 and a blizzard was in progress. I drove my rental car to O’Hare and there must have been fifty cars and trucks stalled on the freeway. I just drove around them and got to my flight on time. AND I AM A NATIVE TEXAN1

        Reply
    • Crys

      I’m a Texan headed to KY on Monday for a month and a half I will be arriving to -1° but look forward to the fresh allergen free air.

      Reply
  2. 43fitness

    As an Austin native, I love the idea of being able to keep up with my hometown from afar. As a new Colorado resident, this is even more entertaining than it would have been before I left. Thanks for keeping it real!

    Reply
    • Igor M

      Found this post on a FB wall of a dear friend from Austin. At the beginning I was like “are you for real?!” but as I was scrolling down I got the joke. Phew. Living in a land-locked mountainous country of Macedonia (Europe) I’m much more at home with a CO. weather so I can appreciate your comment even more.

      Reply
    • Detective Ventriloquist

      Um, yeah, that’s the point of the whole thing. You get that he’s making a joke about the lack of snow, right?

      Reply
  3. Debbie

    Torchy’s!!! Please don’t eat the people….the horrid ice and snow should be gone in about 45 minutes!!! Yeehaa! I love Texas. Be safe out there! Stay home until you can drive safely!

    Reply
    • Kristen S.

      A hot toddy is a mixture of hot tea, whiskey , honey and a splash of lemon, also great for colds. It’s a old southern thing I guess. I grew up with my mom making them for my dad (in Houston). it’s not a Austin thing. I wouldn’t even go as far as to say its a Texas thing, it’s just a southern thing. Yes the ppl in Austin and Texas make a big deal when we get snow, it’s not like we get it every season. I am in my 30′s and I have seen snow 2 times in my life both times it was less than an inch. So yes there is going to accidents, yes ppl are going to freak out, yes there will be a ton of post about it- we do not get weather like this very often

      Reply
      • siniva

        thank u Kristen 4 sharin the toddr recipe…i sure will try it when we have winter months in wellington NZ!! we have one more month left to go of summer!! keep warm n safe…bless u all during the cold season!!

        Reply
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  5. Maddi

    I spoke with someone from Maine this morning, and he referred to our harsh 28 degree, ice-covered landscape as “barbeque weather”. Little does he know that it is always BBQ weather here in the ATX (though I’m sure that the line at Franklin’s is shorter than usual this morning).

    Reply
  6. Kevin Dorvil

    So I live in what was just dubbed the coldest town in America on Wednesday morning. We reached a -37° This post is hilarious though. BTW the colleges here, don’t get snow days… It’s not warm enough for snow anyway.. Yes, WARM enough.

    Reply
    • Jennifer

      Haha Kevin, I know what you mean. I’m from San Antonio living in AK and I always tell my family back home that it only snows when its warm enough!!

      Reply
  7. Tim

    Born just outside Chicago. Lived in Alaska for 3 years. Texas is just plain sad. I drove to work, made it on time, and saw three (or was it more?) vehicles off the road. Roads closed. Schools closed. For a lousy 1/8 inch of ice, in patches.

    Reply
    • Brooke

      In case u couldn’t tell, we r making fun of ourselves. We know its ridiculous! I will say though, that in places where this happens often, you r prepared for it. We don’t have snow tires or chains or fleets of trucks to treat the roads. That makes it a little more difficult to navigate the ice.

      Reply
    • digitsmimi

      Our streets are made to put up with heat. Otherwise, we would spend 10 months a year diving in melted tar. Our streets expand/contract and are made of totally different materials NOT with snow or ice in mind. I dare any person accustomed to driving in snow/ice in the north to try it on our streets. Our schools and businesses close because it is not safe to drive to them. I am in Houston and our friends from Wisconsin/Michigan can’t believe they drive ice no better than the rest of us. I lived 3 years in Maine and all I can say is it is totally different.

      Reply
    • SL

      Dude, don’t be so serious! It’s a joke! You have horrible winters, we have horrible summers. It’s all good in the end. Texas isn’t sad. You should come to Texas, you’ll be glad you did. Be safe and stay warm!

      Reply
    • Monkeybox

      Let’s talk sad when summer comes, and the north panics as temperatures hover around 90 for more than a week. The tables turn and we laugh at you, Chicago. Not for just one day every few summers, we laugh at you every single year, all summer long.

      Reply
  8. Dean Rumbaugh

    Oh my…how in the world will Texans survive with snow that covers their yards and driveways…Not quite an inch overall but so icy and scary…I would suggest they stay inside until the thaw then don their shorts, t shirts and flip flops and play outdoors….I Love Texas but would like to see at least snow enough to make a snowman or snow cream…maybe even slide around a bit in it…

    Reply
  9. Amanda C.

    So funny. I actually just posted something similar on my blog (www.nyandla.wordpress.com) concerning a Louisiana “Snow Storm” vs what I am more typically used to in NY.

    Reply
  10. Paige Whitley

    I lived in Austin in the 80′s and clearly remember a LOT more snow than that. Enough for real snow men and “ice skating” on the road. If I can survive that, I’m sure you tough nuggets will be just fine.

    Reply
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  12. Laurie

    The flip side of this is people from the “north” in 80 degree weather. I’ve been up in Washington and notice friends fanning themselves and turning on the AC when it’s 75. People parish temperatures of 80 because they don’t have AC. We don’t have good de-icing equipment. So we’re even. :-) Funny stuff.

    Reply
  13. Courtney Lynn

    I grew up in Northern Indiana and the weather there was MUCH worse. But the people here are nowhere near used to cold weather, and that makes for a very funny snow day. These pictures truly capture the attitude I have been getting from all my native Texan friends. Great job.

    Reply
  14. Statty

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, have a good laugh northerners. But, when it’s triple digits up there, y’all start dropping like flies.

    Reply
  15. Ger

    OK,, here in the Canadian prairies,, we are experiencing -30 with wind chills of -50 wind chill.
    This is hilarious that its such a big deal. We are not making fun of you cause we know you are not used to the cold,,, but its just entertaining to see the “snow days” comments. We still go to work and go to school at -30 weather.

    Reply
    • Detective Ventriloquist

      Yes, we’re in on the joke. That’s the point. He’s making fun of himself and all of the people panicking about ice that will melt by midday. Our roads down here are built to deal with heat, not ice, which makes them incredibly dangerous with even the slightest bit of ice on them.

      Reply
  16. lolastar2

    So true…friends took me to a sauna here in Korea and told me to pace myself, that getting over heated in the sweat lodges could be dangerous… Tell the truth it felt like getting into a hot car that had been sitting in the sun all day in July or August. I just smirked and said, “Hot? I’m from Texas…feels like home!”

    Reply
  17. Dennis

    Love it. The most amusing part to me are the comments from people in the north thinking this is serious and trying to compete with our cold front. I actually had to wear pants today for the first time this winter.

    Reply
    • courtney

      I completely agree with you I live in killeen this is my home town I love our crazy weather I’ve been up north yeah they got winter issues I couldn’t handle that but I still will never understand why it always has to be a contest on who has it worse

      Reply
  18. Anissa Minica

    Just wait until this summer when you northerns have a 90 degree heat wave lol! Cut us a little break this is why we live here we do not like the ice and snow!!!!:)

    Reply
  19. Pb. Monks

    29 Yrs. Ago1/12/85 We were Married in Austin,Tx. Had 13″ of snow. We were the only ones on IH35 making tracks to the airport, took 12hrs. Before we could get out of Austin to go on our Honenymoon.

    Reply
    • texylady

      We flew from Ft. Worth to San Antonio that day. First flight in, or course the runway had not been plowed, no plows! Watched the snow fall all day from the 11th floor of the Riverwalk Hyatt. It was the same week that they drain the river, so the snow covered up the muck in the bottom. Priceless memories.

      Reply
    • Sandie

      I remember, it was my oldest’s 5th birthday. 01/14/85, we were the only ones on Ben White at 6pm, we made it to the restaurant he wanted to go to. I think there was less than 20 people there, btw service was excellent. They treated my son as a prince.

      Reply
  20. Val

    No worries y’all. The North has to feel superior about something. God knows they wouldn’t be able to handle the weather here any other time. Btw, it’ll be 60° tomorrow.

    Reply
  21. Jeanne Wright

    We’ll revisit this in the middle of August when we are incapable of coping with 90 degrees in the inescapable sunshine of Wisconsin. I will send you photos of my drooping flowers.

    Reply
  22. Kurt the frozen sailor

    Yikes!! Snow!! For those of you not in Austin, it can be scary here when it happens here!! Not because of the Frozen Zombies and Polar bears, but because the cowboys (and others) with their big four-wheel -drive trucks are out driving too fast because they think four-wheel-drives can drive fast in anything. (Disclaimer; I used to live on a ranch and in the north and I have a four-wheel-drive). I know how to drive in the stuff but I’m scared to drive in the snow here because I almost always get almost hit by someone who doesn’t know how to drive in it. Instead I just sit home with the aforementioned Hot Toddy and protect my home from Zombies!! :-)

    Reply
  23. Liz

    Funny! The title says “horrifying”… I was expecting something like 12 inches of snow, not a backyard that is barely covered with ice/snow. I lived in Austin for 4 years. Women start wearing boots even with a 75-degree weather

    Reply
  24. Kurt the frozen sailor

    I forgot to say “Well done!!” This is hilarious and I sent it to all my friends in Maine (where I used to live) and Canada!!

    Reply
  25. Becky

    I am a former Texan now living in a suburb of Philadelphia….which just got 12+ inches of snow last Tuesday…. I thought this was hilarious!!!!!!! Well done!!!!!! Loved it!

    Reply
  26. Pablo

    Well ya’ll think it’s funny, I tried to let my chickens out of the coop, and they were so *scared* of the ‘white’ ground, they wouldn’t come out of the coop! All I could say was ‘Chicken!’

    Reply
  27. milkandcerealblog

    Hahaha, this is fantastic. Well done, sir! Being a resident of a place where -40 degree weather and feet upon feet of snow are normal (North Dakota), it’s nice to see someone take a comical position on that snow rather than freaking out about a small dusting.

    Reply
  28. Rebecca Hite

    We enjoyed this a lot
    !!!!!!! Even my 85 year old Mom was laughing so much !!!!!! Chris, keep up the good work cos we all need some good laughs these days !! :)

    Reply
  29. D Menge

    My Son, in Austin, emailed this article to me, in MN, and it made my day. Actually, given our forecast, it will carry me for the week. Outstanding Mr. Lynn!!! An absolute hoot!!! Thank you for sharing your talent.

    Reply
  30. bdd3

    The really worst part of it all is when the roads rise up and attack cars, wildly spinning them out of control. John Kelso said it best when he said the only way to drive in these kinds of conditions is to step on the gas and stay off the brakes. I am certainly glad Austin drivers have taken that advice to heart.

    Reply
  31. char

    For the northern folks that don’t understand, imagine not having enough road equipment to handle all the iced roads combined with millions of people that don’t know how to drive on icy streets…. then you will understand why a sane person will no go on the road when this happens.

    Reply
  32. G Lewis

    Good for all of you that live in the tundra and went to work in 0 degree weather blah blah blah. Now quit complaining or move. We are joking about it down here. None of us would really compare our situation to yours.

    Reply
  33. Cynthia

    Ohhh, very cute Mr Lynn, ha! I will gladly trade you wind chill and double digit negative degree weather in Chicago this week. :)

    Reply
  34. Kate

    to all the people complaining about the cold or snow… come on… as I’m writing this we currently have about 3feet of snow on the ground (and that is after our thaw two weeks ago which half of it melted) and it is about -27 Celcius with a -35 windchill….

    Reply
  35. Mathew

    This isn’t as funny to everyone. My brother driving home from his overnight nursing job in San Antonio hit ice in San Marcos and his truck rolled over into a field. So everyone making light of how “dangerous” it was can F off. It was dangerous.

    Reply
  36. mer

    I feel for those poor animals….they look so mortified to be standing on the white ground. Here in Toronto I’ve resolved to start up a humanitarian collection to send and save y’all.
    Stay strong….
    Pray.
    Help will arrive soon….

    Reply
  37. Hoffi

    Wow, it’s so true. I went into a restaurant around 7pm and came out to a windshield full of ice so in a panic, i first grabbed my ID but it bent scraping away at the ice so I ran back in to the car and grabbed my credit card. As I desperately scraped away at the ice avoiding the windshield wipers I realized this is no match for the Snowpocalypse. “why did I laugh at that person that gave me an ice scraper years ago?” played in my head… my trip home was delayed by at least 30 minutes…then i got to the bridge that i needed to pass to get home and it was shut down by police with their flashing lights. 2 bridges and now 3 are closed?! how will i EVER GET HOME? Backroads and then found myself safely pulling into my garage. I felt justified when I saw that all schools would be shut down the next day. “Keep the children safe” I thought…

    Reply
  38. pob9847

    Wow, summa you Yanks are kinda sensitive. We (Texans) are here laughin’ at ourselves and y’all are just gettin’ mad. Ain’t that a kicker.

    Reply
  39. Zacsmimi

    I almost never read comments on general postings, as I find people almost invariably get troll -like and hateful and say stupid things to each other and argue about crazy shit. But this one I liked – because, well, despite some rather insane political popularities, Texans are generally friendly folk. (Even the roadsigns say Drive Friendly, or something like that, don’t they?) Kudos to writers/posters for not taking the bait when trolls attacked and keeping this light and funny. Nicely done, ya’ll.

    Reply
  40. Cesar Barcenas

    Its just a funny joke ppl. :) Must admit though, we native Texans do tend to make a deal out of this but were just not used to it!

    Reply
  41. Speleobuff

    Hilarious! We are getting our first foot of the stuff here in the Bluegrass, but it’s the -7 mornings that really leave make tromping out to defrost my car in my terrycloth bathrobe and engineer boots (very stylish) a joy. You are in my prayers, Austin…so, considering I’m a secular humanist, you can consider that directed as a secular humorist. Bundle up!

    Reply
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  43. J L

    We just moved to Texas about 5 months ago from Florida and I will say that I love this place! I grew up in Rhode Island and definitely remember what real cold weather/snow is like so when it gets nice and cold here I just enjoy it. I don’t expect it much here but it’s welcome lol. And for those who are getting all touchy without the feely about this, go thaw your personality out; and while you’re at it, dislodge the ice sculpture up your rear. d:) teeheeheeee…

    Reply
  44. Sandra Lee

    Hilarious! My mom called me from Austin yesterday and said all of it was gone by 10 am. I miss my home town!tfs

    Reply
  45. Vicki Walker

    Hilarious! Not to worry. Next year we may be swimming on the same day. From Indiana and a survivor of the blizzard of 1978, I remember the 13. ” in 1985. Only good snow is late on Christmas Eve, when most are in and safe, and just enjoy the beauty. Blessings to those who are really suffering this winter. Stay safe.

    Reply
  46. Angie

    Being in Minnesota right now, I feel an ache in my frozen limbs for weather like that, but can still appreciate the humor.
    I hope you all make it through this, people of Austin.

    Reply
  47. Ann

    Coldest central TX winter I remember was in ’84. It was in the teens for a week and my sister’s Austin apt. swimming pool froze so solid you could walk on it. Last snow at my house in Houston was Christmas Eve of ’04 – only White Christmas here ever. We dream of snow all summer. And try to buy a winter coat here! Selection is pitiful except skiwear.

    Reply
  48. r

    To whomever posted the original post. Send us your address and we’ll send blankets, stocking caps, gloves, shovels, space heaters and all the cold weather gear we can spare. Here is ND we know how devastating this weather can be and we can sympathize with those below 40 temps and 1/2 inch snow drifts. Seriously though, there was an explosion of a natural gas pipeline in Canada so our utility company called us and asked us to turn down our heat. Imagine that, raging blizzard outside and the utility company calls you and says turn down your heat?? Really?

    Reply
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  50. Brian

    ridiculous, I love the Irony and the humor that you have in these photos. I don’t know how you people of Austin are going to make it through this, why dear lord it might be 40 degrees at night for you all, but wait, in Wisconsin it is going to be -25 tomorrow night, without the windchill, thats just a tad bit cold

    Reply
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  53. Kevin Ruic

    I feel for you Austin, I mean I really do. Just got in from our night time milking up here in northern Ohio and the temp is a tepid 15 below zero. We are about two miles south of the Canadian border and with a light breeze of 40 mph wind strength blowing through the naked trees and dropping the wind chill to somewhere around a negative 40 degrees we have cows that are producing at least an additional 50% above normal. With a few feet of snow on the grounds the young Bramaferds don’t like to come in and actually spend their time rolling in the snow. Our conditions have ben so good here the snow actually blows itself up into huge snowballs ready to be turned into snowmen. I can’t wait for the morning when we all get on our snowmobiles and go out on to Lake Erie. We chop holes in the ice and instantly pull up 25 pound Walleye just waiting for an outdoor party over our natural wood fire pit. I’m sure it’s the same for you there so don’t forget to party hardy on the frozen tundra before it all goes away and you are sweating once again.

    Reply
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