Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop Birthday Party and Pie Eating Contest–Yeah, It Got Messy.

Chris chows down at the Sugar Mama's Bakehouse Pie Eating Contest

Chris chows down at the Sugar Mama’s Bakehouse Pie Eating Contest

Stepping into Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop on South First for the One Year Anniversary Birthday Party, I knew I was gonna be in trouble. You see, I’m a sugar addict, so when I saw all those cases full of pretty little cupcakes, it was like a sex addict walking into a brothel: I’d need to exercise some serious restraint to keep from sleeping with eating each precious treat.

After convincing myself that one little bite of cake would suffice, I took a tiny nibble of some vegan birthday cake.  Seconds later, in a stupor, I looked down at an empty plate; I’d ravished the full piece. But it didn’t stop there.  Having had a taste of that sugar mama goodness, I was now on a quest for the ultimate high: I decided to enter the pie eating contest.

Confession: I’ve never seen a pie eating contest–well, except that scene in the movie Stand By Me.  Therefore, I had NO idea what I was getting into.  Eating pie? Done! I mean, I’d just scarfed that cake in 2.3 seconds, a full pie would be, um, a piece of cake?

Little did I know, the pies from Sugar Mama’s would be effing amazing.  My competition wasn’t the red-headed dude next to me who wins all the eating contest in the city. No, my biggest obstacle would be my own taste buds.

How could I possibly speed-eat a chocolate creme piece with rich, creamy chocolate, chunks of toffee, chocolate chips in an Oreo cookie crust? And even though I don’t normally like coconut creme pie, I caught myself savoring every hand-shoveled bite. Oh, and the mixed berry pie: A little slice of heaven. The crust, like a croissant–and equally buttery. And the berries steamed fresh from the farm….

So I lost.  And I kept eating.  And my tummy hurt.  But none of that mattered, cause lemme tell you: I was SOARING, MAN!!  If watching the video doesn’t make your sweet tooth ache from some deep, primal spot, then I question your humanity.

WHERE: Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop, 1905 S. 1st St, 512.448.3727

WATCH: Does Chris get more pie on his face than in his mouth?

WARNING: The two-and-a-half minute video is like all out food porn.  After watching, you may feel compelled to hit up the nearest snack machine, pie shop or bakery to get a fix.


About Chris Apollo Lynn

78704er, cyclist, part-time DJ, new media mad scientist, urban farmer, not a robot, ready for End of Days.