Stepping into Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop on South First for the One Year Anniversary Birthday Party, I knew I was gonna be in trouble. You see, I’m a sugar addict, so when I saw all those cases full of pretty little cupcakes, it was like a sex addict walking into a brothel: I’d need to exercise some serious restraint to keep from sleeping with eating each precious treat.
After convincing myself that one little bite of cake would suffice, I took a tiny nibble of some vegan birthday cake. Seconds later, in a stupor, I looked down at an empty plate; I’d ravished the full piece. But it didn’t stop there. Having had a taste of that sugar mama goodness, I was now on a quest for the ultimate high: I decided to enter the pie eating contest.
Confession: I’ve never seen a pie eating contest–well, except that scene in the movie Stand By Me. Therefore, I had NO idea what I was getting into. Eating pie? Done! I mean, I’d just scarfed that cake in 2.3 seconds, a full pie would be, um, a piece of cake?
Little did I know, the pies from Sugar Mama’s would be effing amazing. My competition wasn’t the red-headed dude next to me who wins all the eating contest in the city. No, my biggest obstacle would be my own taste buds.
How could I possibly speed-eat a chocolate creme piece with rich, creamy chocolate, chunks of toffee, chocolate chips in an Oreo cookie crust? And even though I don’t normally like coconut creme pie, I caught myself savoring every hand-shoveled bite. Oh, and the mixed berry pie: A little slice of heaven. The crust, like a croissant–and equally buttery. And the berries steamed fresh from the farm….
So I lost. And I kept eating. And my tummy hurt. But none of that mattered, cause lemme tell you: I was SOARING, MAN!! If watching the video doesn’t make your sweet tooth ache from some deep, primal spot, then I question your humanity.
WHERE: Sugar Mama’s Bakeshop, 1905 S. 1st St, 512.448.3727
WATCH: Does Chris get more pie on his face than in his mouth?
WARNING: The two-and-a-half minute video is like all out food porn. After watching, you may feel compelled to hit up the nearest snack machine, pie shop or bakery to get a fix.